“Hey, kid, do you have a Twinkie®?”
“I’ve told you before, I won’t give you my last Twinkie®. You’re a Tulku, why don’t you just conjure one up?”
“It wouldn’t be ethical to use my powers for such a mundane task.”
“Since when have you been concerned with being ethical?”
“I’m always ethical when I think someone is watching me. You know I can read minds. I think there’s more going on with you than just the Twinkie®. Something phallic?”
“What a guess. There’s always something phallic going on in my mind. You want to guess my weight now?”
“I told you about Thule. Didn’t you learn anything?”
“You mean about the penis in my head? I know about it and it won’t leave me in peace.”
“Normally in nature, there is just enough sex energy for reproductive purposes. The excess needs to be used for something else. The pleasure penis is a destructive use of that energy.”
“My higher penis seems content to create fascinating scenarios for my pleasure penis.”
“That’s not what I meant. You need to use the higher penis to transcend the pleasure penis, not encourage it.”
“Why? So I can become like you?”
“You are like me. If that thought bothers you, then mend your ways.”
“I’ll think about it, maybe I’ll make it my New Year’s resolution. By the way, why this sudden desire for Twinkies®?”
“I told you about my project. I’m doing a pharmacological study of various plants and fungi, from the inside, as it were, not as a medical researcher would do it. Some of them give me the munchies.”
“Yes, I know about some of those vegetables, the ones my mother never told me to eat. So if you eat all your vegetables, you’re allowed to have some dessert?”
“You’re missing the point. All plant life has an etheric element. I’m investigating their effects on the corresponding soul element in man. By the way, I’m trying to track down some Cinchona bark from Peru and I can’t find it here. I bumped into Quetzalcoatl recently and he suggested it.”
“Get a bottle of Lillet. It has a side effect as an aperitif. Perhaps it will encourage you to eat more nutritious meals.”
“I’ll try to observe that. It’s the last plant on my list.”
“You mean a glass of Lillet will bring you to a state of enlightenment?”
“Of course not, kid. I’m doing all this for the sake of science. I’ve had to study Tantric sex practices, quantum mechanics and now pharmacological plants. It’s all documented. But none of those can free me from the situation I’ve gotten myself into.”
“Yet they are all popular practices on Earth.”
“We can see that, that is why I need you to get the word out. Self-transcendence is a little more difficult than that.”
“I understand. No one wants to make an effort for anything. They would rather take a little yellow pill.”
“How do you know what color it is?”
Please be relevant.